Tale of Two Gunslingers: Challenging Ed to a Duel!

Disclaimer: I always wanted to write a Western story, but I don’t really have the talent to do it. Instead, it’s better to ask me something about SharePoint, I have a lot more talent for that. So, I thought I’d abuse TN Wiki Sunday Special as a stage and write some sort of a Western story anyway.

In the days of the Wild West, the romanticized version, there were famous gun slinging outlaws, like Belle Starr (yes, a woman), the Sundance Kid, Jesse James, and Billy the Kid. The best and fastest way to get notoriety was to enter into a duelling contest with a feared opponent. If you’d win, well, you’d have won another notch on your gun, fame, and everything that goes with that! If you’d lose, well, there’s no need to dwell on that. After all, if you don’t trust your own abilities, who will?

After becoming a famous gunslinger, there’d be another problem… All kinds of up-to-no-good people would come up to you and challenge you to a duel! Just imagine you’re coming back home from this really great party and all you want to do is go to bed, and somebody walks up to you and calls you a “chicken hound” (a what?!?) if you don’t fight him. Such is the sad faith of every famous gunslinger.

If you’re not a famous gunslinger, but the most famous gunslinger, things get worse. Everybody is watching your every move, waiting for a mistake. Once you make that mistake, all wannabe gunslingers will be at your throat like a pack of wolves. Generally speaking, a wolf pack that is after your throat is not a great position to be in, although this depends on the context (when I write sentences like that, I know I’ve answered too many forum questions).

Now, you guys must realize by now where I’m heading at. That is, if you read the title. In TN Wiki terms, it’s quite clear what the equivalent of a notch on a gun is, that’s what all the points and achievements are for. The equivalent of a duel is easy too: just compare your stats with someone else’s, most impressive stats win!

Again, in TN Wiki terms, it’s quite clear who the most famous gunslinger of this era is. If you couldn’t tell from the villainous look of his profile picture, you could tell by his unmatched statistics consisting of an uncanny amount of points, and vast amount of achievements. Just take a look at a snapshot of Ed’s profile page to get the correct perspective:

So, I was reasoning, the easiest way to become the best is to beat the best! Problem was, I don’t think I’ll ever match those stats, so what to do? The solution was easy… I have a 5 year old daughter, and while I’m hopefully teaching her valuable lessons about life, I learn from her too. When she finds out she’s in a contest she can’t win, she just changes the rules. This goes something like: I’ll race you, but you’re not allowed to run, and also, I have to walk in front of you, and what’s more than that, I am the only one who’s allowed to touch the door, and… O, look, I’ve won again!

With this knowledge in mind, I knew it should be possible to beat Ed Price in a totally fair duel. Unbeknownst to him, I’ve been working on a super-secret plan and now’s the time to reveal it. For the last couple of months, I’ve been roaming around with 26 bronze achievements under my belt. Yes, that is correct, 26, 1 more than the miserable 25 bronze achievements that Ed Price brings to the table, as can be seen in the Figure below:

So, I have a message for the outlaw Ed Price: I hereby challenge you to a duel! Try if you can best my 26 bronze achievements, I’m saying that you can’t. Remember that you can’t beat the champion by equalling the champion, you have to surpass the champion to do it!



Comments (14)

  1. Finally, someone has more of some achievements than Ed. Well done. Brave on your part too. Now Ed has a target to shoot for.

  2. Great Magriet, but he already surpassed you 🙂

  3. Commendable job done by you Margriet..seems to have a competitive spirit…but I think Ed will not allow you to beat him…

  4. Very funny! I wonder how long you'll last!

  5. Naomi N says:

    Try pasting his latest info (he already has 26 bronze medals)

  6. I accept the challenge! You're out on vacation too, so I get a bit of a head start! =^)

    As Naomi mentioned I have the same 26 Bronze Medals that you have now. So that's just one more for me (and you). And over 200K Recognition Points! Why isn't this challenge about Recognition Points? Hmm. =^)

    The question then remains, how long is our showdown for? Showdowns in the Old West had immediate ends (like after just one second, when someone died). So we should have an end date for this (end of September?).

    Margriet actually has a distinct advantage over me on this. But I won't reveal what that advantage is until after this challenge is over.

  7. Speaking of showdowns, do you know any good showdown/dueling trivia? Here are a few…

    #1: Alexander Hamilton died early from a Showdown/Duel at the hand of Aaron Burr (his long time political opponent). Hamilton tried to get out of the duel (without apologizing), but he couldn't. So he went through with the duel to teach his son honor. However, he didn't want to fight. So he told the officiator that he wouldn't draw. And he didn't. He marched to his death without a fight.

    #2: Abraham Lincoln was a constant criticizer. One of the best. He criticized one legal opponent anonymously in a newspaper, but he was found out. His opponent challenged him to a duel. Lincoln tried to get out of it but couldn't. So he picked his weapon as cutlasses (because of his long arms) and trained with a soldier to get good at sword fighting (because he wasn't). Finally, the duel was canceled due to an emergency. Relieved, Lincoln vowed to never criticize again. He never did. He even complimented the South and explained to others that they had good reasons to fight.

  8. #3: Andrew Jackson was a famous and brutal duelist. He had many duals and always won. But he also had many bullet fragments in his body, including a bullet near his heart.

  9. #4: The only known Wild West duel/showdown was with Wild Bill Hickok. They faced each other, standing sideways. Hickok took his time, aimed, and killed his opponent in one shot from a considerable distance. And after that, mythology and eventually TV and movies made a western showdown (thank you Clint Eastwood) into something it never was. They didn't have the "honor" or lack of common sense to not hide during their gun battles (or avoid confronting known gunmen). Most gunmen went down in ambushes without being able to defend themselves.

  10. Hey, Margriet, remember this? =^)

    I haven't really tried, other than the 26th bronze. I got a 20th gold though! =^)

  11. Yes, I do. However, I haven't found a way to get more bronze, so I guess that makes it a tie in that regard. As far as the other stats goes, you're still gunslinger #1! Btw, loved your dueling trivia, especially the one about Hamilton.

  12. Thanks! Well, I don't want to spell my own doom, so I'll just give you the hint… it is possible to get more Bronze medals. =^)

  13. Mmm, that's interesting… If it is related to translations that puts you in a difficult spot…

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