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Reflections

It’s MSPoll time here – the time at which the ‘softies get to tell the bosses way up the org chart how they’re feeling.


Those looking for a mini-msft style discourse here will be disappointed; I did use Mini’s advice, though, and use at least the period of the survey for some reflection.


There’s a bunch of stuff happening with my role that means that it’s frankly not as appealing as it once was. Don’t get me wrong – I love this job, I just can’t see myself doing it three years from now.


When first I got here, I was superboy. An agent for change. That Crazy Guy. No problem was insurmountable, no task too big to take on. But I think my edge dulled over time. Maybe I got more political, or just barnacular. Actually, my new team might still think I’m crazy, but probably in a creepy, sinister sort of way rather than a loud, happily obnoxious kind of way. Maybe both on a good day.


For so long now, I’ve been defined by my role, and that’s the yardstick by which other humans are judged; I haven’t been doing a job so much as living it. In the Good Old Days, there was a palpable, visceral thrill to doing what I do, amplified by the thrill of doing it for Microsoft.


But at the end of the day, I have to be doing this for me.


Two poignant posts:



Yeah, I’m going somewhere with this – to save you the suspense (I know, I’m a crappy writer), I’m not quitting. I’m thinking of moving out.


Pros:



  • Control of the server (hackability!)
  • More content flexibility

Cons:



  • Paying for the server (my DSL connection isn’t stable enough to self-host)
  • Loss of mothership air cover

My ideal model is something like Rory’s, only with fewer comics, less humour and no actual skill per se. I’m an argumentative, happily angrily loudly obnoxiously distracted person that tends to swear more than is necessary in real life*, but by golly gosh, I have enough passion for two and a half small-to-mid-sized quiet, book-reading people; I want to channel some of that passion into something I own.


So, ebtdf.com (.ingsoon)…?


* (ooh, an actual asterisk with note) er, when you get to know me; I’m otherwise painfully shy and private.