Courtesy of http://www.sysadminday.com/time.html and by way of my colleague in India, Ravi Sankar, here's:
Advice to employees on the proper use of the System Administrator's valuable time
(In following examples, we will substitute the name "Ted" as the System Administrator)
- Make sure to save all your MP3 files on your network drive. No sense in wasting valuable space on your local drive! Plus, Ted loves browsing through 100+ GB of music files while he backs up the servers.
- Play with all the wires you can find. If you can't find enough, open something up to expose them. After you have finished, and nothing works anymore, put it all back together and call Ted. Deny that you touched anything and that it was working perfectly only five minutes ago. Ted just loves a good mystery. For added effect you can keep looking over his shoulder and ask what each wire is for.
- Never write down error messages. Just click OK, or restart your computer. Ted likes to guess what the error message was.
- When talking about your computer, use terms like "Thingy" and "Big Connector."
- If you get an EXE file in an email attachment, open it immediately. Ted likes to make sure the anti-virus software is working properly.
- When Ted says he coming right over, log out and go for coffee. It's no problem for him to remember your password.
- When you call Ted to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under a year-old pile of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, unpaid bills, bowling trophies and Popsicle sticks. Ted doesn't have a life, and he finds it deeply moving to catch a glimpse of yours.
- When Ted sends you an email marked as "Highly Important" or "Action Required", delete it at once. He's probably just testing some new-fangled email software.
Full list here http://www.sysadminday.com/time.html.