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Kevin Remde's IT Pro WebLog

Build a better Christmas tree-stand…

…and the world will beat a path to your door! 

Okay – it’s really “mouse-trap”… but today our family is going out to get a natural Christmas tree, and after searching for our old one we realized (and remembered) that last year our tree stand broke.  So this year we have to buy a new one. 

As I was putting up some lights outside our house (and as kids were decorating Christmas cookies inside), it got me to thinking… if someone were to ask me what I wanted in a tree stand, I would have to say, “A lot!”. 

I think the perfect stand could simply be placed on the bottom end of the tree, and it would automatically make a thin fresh cut, and latch itself into place.  When you stood the tree on end, little sensors and gyros would send commands to the stand’s CPU informing the processor of places currently out of balance, and the processor would send commands to mini servo motors driving hydrolic-powered lifts to re-align the tree.  A triangulating lasor would be able to align the trunk as upright as possible, while coordinating with the other processes to find a happy medium in case the tree is somewhat naturally lopsided. 

Once positioned the tree would be automatically fed nutrients, and water that is distilled right out of the surrounding air. 

And that’s just standard model, of course.  The deluxe model would also have a plug for special lighting that would then be driven by the CPU for a lighting display of your choice… all the while slowly spinning your now “wireless” tree to the time of the music.  Oh.. the music would of course be uploaded via the WiFi connection to your home network, or for a monthly charge you could add the XM Radio adapter.

Okay… I’ve designed it.  Which of you will be brave enough to build it so we can make millions?!  <chuckle>

Happy Holidays!