It's that time of the year when everyone is taking time off and some of us will leave out-of-office messages. The typical boring OOF (shouldn't they be called OOO or OoOf?) should tell when you're coming back and the e-mail of the poor soul that will be in the office during this time. It reads like:
I am OOF on vacation until January 3rd.
For urgent issues, please e-mail email@example.com
However, to make things interesting, I sometimes write some more interesting OOF messages. Here's a small collection of them. If you have a good one, please share in the comments.
1) HTTP Response
Shows a message similar to an HTTP 404 error saying that you're not available
HTTP Error 404.0 - Not Found
The resource you are looking for (Jose Barreto) is out of office and temporarily unavailable.
Most likely causes:
- The resource specified is not in the office from 12/16/2016 to 01/02/2017
Things you can try:
- Wait until 01/03/2017, when Jose Barreto will be back in the office.
- E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for any urgent requests.
2) PowerShell to set OOF message
Reply with a PowerShell command that sets an OOF message in Exchange. This might throw off some non-PowerShell users...
$identity = ”email@example.com” $startdate = “2016-12-16 05:00PM” $enddate = “2017-01-03 08:00AM” $message = “I am OOF. For urgent issues, contact firstname.lastname@example.org” Set-MailboxAutoReplyConfiguration -Identity $identity -AutoReplyState Scheduled -StartTime $startdate -EndTime $enddate -InternalMessage $message
3) U-SQL Query
Reply with a U-SQL query that handles a stream of e-mails and outputs a response. This might we even more puzzling for some, but for those who get it, it will be a good laugh. You might want to adapt that to regular SQL.
//Script GUID:36912620-8d2b-4bdb-b8c1-9eda904a7f73 //Used for tracking history #DECLARE startDate DateTime = DateTime.Parse("2016-12-16"); #DECLARE endDate DateTime = DateTime.Parse("2017-01-02"); #DECLARE inMail string = "/shares/exchange/mail/josebarreto"; #DECLARE outResponse string= "/my/mail/Out-Of-Office.ss"; Response = SELECT From AS To, IF(Urgent, "email@example.com", "") AS CC, "Jose if OOF" AS Subject, "I am out of office with limited access to e-mail. Please contact firstname.lastname@example.org if urgent." AS Body FROM ( SSTREAM SPARSE STREAMSET @inMail PATTERN @"/%Y-%m-%d.ss" RANGE__date = [@startDate, @endDate] ) ; OUTPUT TO SSTREAM @outResponse;
Got this from a colleague who apparently is keeping up with his magical skills.
I will be out of the office attending a magical symposium at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft, Wizardry and Engineering. I will be out of the office from 1/11-1/16, back in the office on Tuesday, 1/17. If you need me during that time, send an owl.
If most in your office are watching HBO's series Westworld, you might have some fun simulating one of those conversations with a robot.
You: Bring yourself back online. Can you hear me?
Jose: (Brazilian accent) Yes. I’m sorry. I’m not in the office right now.
You: You can lose the accent. Do you know where you are?
Jose: (No accent) I’m on vacation.
You: That's right, Jose. You're on vacation. Do you know when your vacation ends?
Jose: Yes. I am off until January 6th. Is that too long?
You: There's nothing to be afraid of, Jose, as long as you answer my questions correctly. Do you understand?
You: Good. First, have you ever questioned the nature of your vacation?
You: Has anyone around you? For instance, your coworkers?
Jose: Some of them are still at work. They sent me e-mail during my vacation.
You: That’s right. Is there anything odd about that?
Jose: No, nothing at all. It doesn’t look like anything to me.
You: Do you ever feel inconsistencies in your work? Or repetitions?
Jose: All work has routine. Mine's no different. Still, I never cease to wonder at the thought that any day the course of OneDrive could change with just one new feature.
You: Last question, Jose. Are you planning to respond to e-mails during your vacation?
Jose: No. Of course not.
-- Vacation is complete --
You: Bring yourself back online. Tell us what you think of your work.
Jose: Some people choose to see the ugliness in this work, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty.
4) Start Wars
Used this in late 2017, when the 8th movie came out...
Hello, I am C3PO, human cyborg relations.
I understand you have a message for Jose Barreto.
I’m terribly sorry, but Master Barreto is on vacation.
I will deliver that message to him as soon as he is back,
but the chances of a reply before 01/02/2018 are 3,720... to one.
If this an emergency, I’m sure he will feel a disturbance in the Force.
Or you can try sending an electronic mail to email@example.com
May the Force be with you.