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The place where I page to when my brain is full up of stuff about the Microsoft platform

Things you would never hear a DBA say

Twitter is great fun and switched on DBAs use it for two reasons, they have their servers under control so they have time for a bit of fun during the day and occasionally need to phone a friend to get tech tip or share some insight.

I caught this hashtag, #thingsYouShouldNeverHearADbaSay, in a quite moment 10 minutes ago and it’s like a SQL version of a mock the week tragedy I wanted to post a few of them hear to have a bit of fun and possibly enlighten a few of you !:


  • @SQLCraftsman: I don’t have to worry about I/O because I use a SAN. 
  • @SQLChicken: RAID 5 is our backup strategy!
  • @jayape: I just made you a sysadmin, now you don’t have to keep asking me for permissions
  • @aaronbertrand: I’ve changed all of the databases in production to use both AutoShrink and AutoClose
  • @paulrandal: Nope – the backups were on that drive too.
  • @simon_sabin: Just use sa, the password is blank
  • @chrissie1: Excel can do this and much more
  • @mike_walsh: Wow. It really IS the database! Sorry, guys… I’ve been blaming the developers and storage guys so long!
  • @onpnt: We have more than one sql server installed here?!


No doubt there’ll be more to follow, but you might want to follow a few of the guys mentioned here, they do actually know what they’re talking about. BTW you’ll find me on there as @DeepFat.